Why Emotional Regulation is like Hot Air Ballooning
Emotions are complex, wonderful, sometimes confusing, but always precious things. Sometimes they help us feel the best we ever have, other times they make us feel like we aren’t in control and feel at our worst. Finding ways to express emotions from both sides of this spectrum is a fundamental tool humans develop throughout their lifetime.
Unfortunately, not everyone feels they can safely express their emotions. From an early age, men in particular are taught in various ways that it is not okay to express their emotions because they will be seen as weak or “not man enough”. You may have friends, partners or husbands that struggle with expressing their emotions in a regulated way, in great part because they have felt obligated to repress them for so long. This generally leads to some sort of outburst - be it anger or debilitating sadness, or anywhere in between. Thankfully, emotional regulation and the ability to express emotion is something anyone and everyone can learn and improve on.
When it comes to emotional regulation, there is no one-size-fits-all method, in fact, one metaphor to describe it is to think of it like hot air ballooning…
As you float through the sky, pilots add fuel to catch different levels of wind. Sometimes the best winds are high, sometimes they are low. It’s a careful game of patience and intuition. If you burn too hot and go too high, it can send you into fast, dangerous and unpredictable winds. If you fly too low, you must avoid obstacles so that you don’t have an unexpected landing or collision.
When emotions run too high, or too low, you can end up overwhelmed. Emotional Regulation is about finding a balance between these two extremes. Take a deep breath, take stock of where you are in the present moment, stay patient, and ride the winds as best you can right now. Just like a hot air balloon crew on the ground, if you need help and advice, a psychologist is just a call away.
Harrison Orpe
Registered Provisional Psychologist
